Best Sleep of Your Life: Part Three
/Saved the Best for Last
How to get the MOST out of the sleep you crave
In case you missed it! Here's Part 1 & Part 2
Note: This email contains helpful links to connect you with some stuff I love. No affiliate strings attached.
This email is jam packed with sleep goodness so let’s dive right in!
My Favorite Sleeping Pill
My no-fail strategy to fall asleep fast is progressive muscle relaxation (PMR).
It’s like taking Ambien or Trazodone, but without all the pharma effects!
(C'mon. You didn't really think I was going to recommend sleeping pills did you??)
How To do PMR:
Simply inhale deeply, clinch your toes, hold for a beat, and exhale while releasing the tension in your feet.
Next, inhale again, flex your toes toward your head, hold for a beat, and exhale and release.
Continue to work your way up to your body, tightening and releasing each muscle group.
Work your way up in this order: legs, glutes, abdomen, back, hands, arms, shoulders, neck, and face.
Try to tighten each muscle group for a breath and then slowly release. Repeat any areas that feel especially stiff.Take one final deep inhale, SQUEEZE EVERYTHING from head to toe. Exhale & Release.
Gnite!
Between the deep breathing and the muscle work, I barely ever make it past three breaths before I’m asleep!
This works great for falling back to sleep if you've awakened (or been woken up by a little person) in the middle of the night.
Hemp Oil
Sorry. This ain’t about getting, getting the munchies, having a carpet picnic only to pass out in order to get some sleep.
(Although that works too!)
Hemp oil contains less than 0.3% THC so it’s not going to cause any psychedelic effects.
What it does contain is the full-spectrum goodness of the whole hemp plant:
terpenes, chlorophyll, omega fatty acids, flavonoids, vitamins, and minerals — basically ingredients that are great for reducing inflammation, boosting your brain, improving your immune system response, all of which can help you feel better and sleep better.
I get mine from woven earth because it’s a clean, organic product that has supported my sleep during the gnarly sleep-deprived months of becoming a new parent!
Sleep Supplements & Drugs
My goal in writing these pieces is to support your sleep without the aid of OTC or prescription meds, but if you need support, get it and use it without shaming yourself or feeling bad.
Perhaps, consider using your meds (a/o devices) in combination with some of the suggestions I’ve provided so that you can transition off the pills and get some sleep.
Today, I’m only going to sound off one sleep-specific supplement: Melatonin.
I’m giving it my attention and precious real estate because Americans pop them like candy under the guise that it’s “natural” and drug-free.
I too fell prey to this, so I know I’m not alone.
Y’all, a HORMONE.
Please. Tread lightly.
Respect your endocrine system.
Scientists recommend between 0.3 mg and 1 mg of melatonin, yet most stores stock 5-mg or 10-mg pills.
Ahhh. The American Way: “If a little is good, then more must be better!”
Wrong.
Too much melatonin can mess with your menstrual cycle, lactation, sperm count, and libido.
Y’all, in parts of Europe you need a prescription to get melatonin.
Ding! Ding! Ding!
That should tell you something.
Melatonin is not regulated like a drug by the FDA, and nobody has ever tested it to make sure it’s safe for long-term use. It is completely unregulated and understudied.
I’m going to get off my melatonin soap box now.
Poke Me, Please
I regularly use “alternative medicine” as my first line of offense for prevention and as my second line of defense against sickness
(which I rarely experience . . . y’all following the trend line here? Keep reading.)
Acupuncture is commonly used in treating insomnia in China, and clinical studies have shown that acupuncture may have a beneficial effect on insomnia, especially when compared with Western meds.
When I’ve used acupuncture for bouts of sleeplessness, I’ve benefited not only in my sleep patterns, but I find I live more at ease, I’m less stressed, and I’m more present with and in my body.
What’s cool is most PPO’s cover acupuncture, so check with your plan.
But Wait
Don’t Do Needles?
No Insurance Coverage?
Still not ready to venture outside your home?
I gotch’u
You can get acupuncture VIRTUALLY — with no needles!
My beloved acupuncturist, Trace, developed a methodology called, Spoken Point, using MAGNETS to activate specific points on the body instead of needles!
How it works:
You order a $100 reusable kit that contains everything you need to self-treat at home.
Her website provides all sorts of treatment options where she walks you through how to set up and apply the magnets.
I recommend her Deep Sleep treatment. Delicious to the mind & body.
I love this because it overcomes so many barriers regarding access to care (geography, needle-nerves, transportation, insurance, cost, etc.).
Now for my Holy Grail to sweet sleep...
(Drum roll please . . .)
CBT-I
The Gold Standard that is Completely Substance-Free
I could have just written the whole damn thing about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia and been done — but that wouldn’t be as fun.
Plus, when CBT-I is combined with some of the strategies I outlined for you, up to 80% of CBT-I patients experience sustained improvements.
Benefits include:
less time to fall asleep,
more time spent asleep, and
waking up less during sleep.
What I like best: Studies show results are often maintained over time.
Y’all, I successfully did CBT-I while pregnant.
If it can work for someone with pre-existing insomniatic conditions, PLUS all the changes happening to a woman’s body while growing another human being, then the ‘ish is legit.
(For those without children . . . sleep deprivation doesn’t start once the baby is born. Oh no. Mother nature is much too wise and prepares a woman, “You really should get acclimated to functioning on only 5 hours of interrupted sleep, so we’re going to get you some practice starting with some uncomfortable back and hip pains!”)
With America’s sleep epidemic you might be wondering, “Why haven’t I heard about this CBT-i?”
For the same damn reason you don’t have lobbyist in Washington fighting for broccoli . . . $$$$
In 2019, the U.S. sleep economy was valued at about $79 billion and sleep aids (e.g. devices or meds like Xanax and Lunesta) accounted for $34.93 billion.
But don’t worry — I got you.
Shhhh…Want to know a dirty little secret?
CBT-I is more effective than medications!!!
(Research here and here are great evidence.)
The efficacy of CBT-i is rooted in the multi-pronged approach, using modalities that address one’s behaviors and mindset.
If you need some support here are some practitioners I personally trust that are providing CBT-I via telehealth.
Even better, is the app CBT-i Coach app that was developed by Stanford with the Veteran’s Administration. You can go through the program in the privacy of your own home at your own pace.
Here is a great article to learn more about CBT-i.
The Final Word on Sleep
This last hack is about what you won’t find in my bedroom. I’ve already shared about ditching my phone, but I also don’t have a television, a clock, my laptop, or any other electronic devices in my bedroom.
Clock Watchers
I have an infant and a toddler, so who needs an alarm clock?!
Real talk though, sleep researchers find that people struggling with insomnia tend to stress more about their sleep when they have a clock in the bedroom.
It’s a nagging reminder of how much sleep they aren’t getting. It’s a vicious, sleep-sucking cycle.
Plus, if it’s a clock that glows in the dark, that’s more light pollution mucking up what should be a dark, cave-like room.
When I have to wake up for a specific time I just use a portable kitchen timer on my bedside table.
Do Me Baby
Just like the Emperor of Pop didn't, I also don’t keep a television in my bedroom — but this ain't about sleep hygiene.
Research shows couples who have a TV in their bedroom have sex 50% less than those who don’t.
Real Talk: My sex life took a HUGE cliff dive after having children, so I need as much working for me as possible! I think Prince would approve.
Remember from Part 1, Big Os = Better sleep!
Sex aside, research shows that removing the television from the bedroom results in more and better sleep.
Not only does a television in the bedroom keep us up later at night, but there are also studies that indicate watching television before bed actually disrupts sleep cycles and decreases REM.
Laptop...Buh-Bye
I also keep my laptop out of my bedroom at night.
At times during the pandemic, I’ve had to escape to my bedroom and use it as an office.
I’m very, very intentional about taking my laptop out of my bedroom at the end of each day.
Otherwise, when I’m trying to rest and relax, my laptop is staring at me and the thoughts and guilt start creeping in, “Oh! I should work on this...” or “Uh! Let me just email that...”
One woman with her home office in her bedroom recently confessed to me, “I just roll out of bed and start working. I can’t help it, but I need to stop.”
Which takes me to . . .
The B-Word
Yup. Y’all know what I’m talking about: Bedtime Boundaries.
Get some.
While boundaries can, and sometimes should, be conversations you have others, boundaries are also conversations you have — first and foremost — with YOURSELF.
In this dialogue, you decide what you want to allow in your sphere of experience.
It’s not just about the behaviors you will or will not accept from others, but becoming aware of the personal boundaries you yourself are violating.
Do you have personal boundaries around your sleep?
There was a time I didn’t either.
Examples help, so here are some of my sleep boundaries:
Work/Computer is off by 8:30pm or earlier. (Work will still be there tomorrow and the world will not end.)
I don’t watch/read/listen to anything scary or disturbing at night (e.g. News, NPR, horror movies)
Only light, comedic, sports or HGTV-type of television
It really is about loving and honoring yourself and knowing that your well-being is worth saying "yes" to.
Protect your sleep and ditching the distractions.
All right, y'all. This is a wrap for my 3-part Sleep Series.
Hit reply and share with me what you liked and want to try (or what you want to stop doing) in order to get more sleep!
I hope you benefited from this 3-part series just as much as I enjoyed creating it for you!
May you get some much needed sleep!
PS. Want More? Here are some additional resources to support some sound slumber:
Yin Yoga for Relaxation I love to do this in the evening. Plus, stretching your legs has been shown to improve the ability to fall asleep and stay asleep.
Feeling lazy? Just do legs up the wall for 5 minutes and call it a night!
Aunt Flo come to town? Preggo? Menopausal?
Women & Sleep by UCLA has some interesting info about how a woman’s sleep is affected by all these hormonal changes.
Here are straight to the point (and far less entertaining!) tips on how to improve your sleep hygiene.
Sleep well
~ Gigi