The Secret to Confidence

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Hey friend,

Happy International Women’s Day.

In my world, every day is a cause for the celebration and empowerment of women, so I'm not here to take up too much of your time.

I just wanted to say, while the world uses today to
recognize women's achievement,
raise awareness against bias, and
take action for equality,
I encourage you to take a moment to Celebrate Yourself.

In whatever form that looks like, pause, and pick one thing to acknowledge and celebrate about yourself.

It’s sounds simple, but for a high-performing woman, it ain’t easy.

Merely accepting a compliment is an uphill challenge.

Friend: “This pie is delicious!”

You: “Oh, I totally screwed up the crust and forgot to seal the edges…And I made the top layer too thin.”

Uh-huh. See what I mean.

The point is, extend yourself the appreciation you give to others, that gentle whisper of “I see you.
You matter.
You are frickin’ phenomenal.”

Why am I suggesting you celebrate yourself?

Confidence.

Why confidence and what’s it got to do with celebration?

Con-fi-dence (noun): a feeling of self-assurance arising from one's appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities.

There are many definitions, and this one, in particular, I really like because it highlights appreciation of oneself.

By its very definition, to have confidence, a woman must recognize and celebrate herself.

Ap-pre-ci-a-tion (noun): recognition and enjoyment of the good qualities of someone or something.

This simple act of recognizing and celebrating your talents, skills, abilities, and qualities signals to yourself that you are valued. You are worthy.

Another thing about confidence: it is not an innate, fixed characteristic.

It’s an ability that can be acquired and improved over time.

Ding! Ding! Ding!

One can influence their felt sense of confidence.

Magic Recipe for Confidence:

Excavate the Evidence + Celebrate Yourself

Here’s an IRL example.

I recently was feeling all sorts of uncertainty and overwhelm with a parenting decision.

My sinking ship of confidence was setting off distress flares everywhere:

  • Seeking out other people’s opinions

  • Not trusting my own judgment

  • Blaming others (e.g. my husband)

  • Needing approval

  • Fearing the future

  • Worrying about what other people would think about my choice

I had to stop.

I was getting nowhere but more anxious and worried with all this looking and seeking outside myself.

I took a moment to think about all the wins I have had as a parent.

(Newsflash: We high-performing women have been conditioned to not enjoy–much less take ownership of–our own success.)

I made a list of some of my recent proud parenting choices & qualities.

  • Being (mostly!) present with my children.

  • Having courageous conversations with my son to admit when I am wrong or sorry.

  • Letting my son have a 2nd helping of cornbread/cookies/dessert (particularly when my inner food police want to scream “No!”)

  • Allowing my daughter the space to flex her fiercely independent spirit–despite my apprehension, like when she wanted to boldly walk across the balance beam on the second-story play structure at the park!

Looking at my list, made me smile in the face of the decision at hand.

I felt, “You are doing a very thoughtful and good job, Gigi. You got this.”

I celebrated myself.

I played my favorite Bruno Mars song (Uptown Funk) and danced around the kitchen.

I gave myself the gift of some extra me-time (and let my son stay in after-care at school for the afternoon)!

The worry and fear started to soften and fade.

I stopped catastrophizing, steeped into the quiet confidence that lives inside, and zeroed in on my decision.

Exhale.

I’m curious, so hit reply and share with me:

What do you acknowledge about yourself and how will you celebrate?


Live well,

Gigi Gibbs